One of my biggest struggles since gaining twenty pounds back after years of determination and finally reaching my goal weight, is that I haven't truly accepted myself for where I am RIGHT NOW. I keep expecting to "get back down" to my goal weight but while doing that - I am really not loving myself as I am at this moment. How can I truly expect to change anything if I am not loving myself in the process of this change? It just doesn't work out that way. Being negative towards myself is only going to take me that much further away from where I want to be and what I want to achieve. I am going to accept that yes I was at my goal weight and yes I did gain back twenty pounds, no it was not my fault and no it is not fair, but it is what it is and I am going to love who I am right now. I am going to be thankful that although I am not at my leanest, I am still over fourty pounds lighter than I was to begin with... and that's amazing! See, I do not even think about things like that because I get too caught up in the negativity of how much weight I have gained back and stop to look at the WHOLE PICTURE. I lose sight of where I have come from. I am way too hard on myself and I need to just stop beating myself up for the things that I had no control over. My body was going through an incredibly hard time when I gained the weight back and once I get my mind straight, I think my body will start to follow more and more. I know that I will get back to my comfortable weight and to me it's not about a number on a scale anymore - It's about feeling comfortable in my own skin and although I don't right now, I do love and accept myself and I am more than open and willing to feel that comfort with my body again. and I will. and when I do, you better believe that I am going to damn well appreciate it! The sad truth is that when I was at my lightest weight, I still felt negative towards myself and still wanted to lose more weight. I knew that I was thin but I didn't think it was enough. Maybe that's the lesson behind gaining some of this weight back... that I have to work hard to get where I want to be at but this time I have to appreciate where I am and not keep wanting more and expecting to be better. I was not born with a naturally slim body and a fast metabolism. I have hips and curves and raw or not, I have to be mindful of what I am eating. These are just facts of my life and the sooner I accept them, the sooner I will come to truly loving me for me. So here's to loving myself and my body no matter what! and with that said... I really need to start up Yoga again. I feel so much better about myself as a whole when I practice yoga on a regular basis. Even just a few minutes a day, doing poses, I can feel a difference in my entire body. I love Bryan Kest's "Power Yoga" - I actually attended one of his Yoga seminars last summer and he was amazing. Talk about making you sweat! Whoever said you don't get a good workout from doing yoga really needs to try out one of his dvd's, they're killer. I also have my FIRST colonic this weekend!!! on Saturday and I am so nervous.... SO nervous. I have suffered with stomach and digestive issues since I was sixteen years old so I have alot of post-traumatic stress from the pain I suffered with over the years. I'm praying for a pain-free session and I truly feel in my heart that this is what I need to do in order to really re-set my body and get back to health. I'm going to do a colonic once a week for the next three months. I'm very excited to start this, especially in conjunction with what I am eating, I have a feeling I will start to see big changes soon. I have too many things I want to accomplish to let my health issues stand in the way, there is just way too much that I want to do with my life and I will not give up!
"We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
13 comments:
I'm struggling with the same thing, I had gotten to my goal-weight pre-raw, then upon my raw honeymoon I gained it all back. I'm not comfortable with my body, and the pounds aren't budging. It's odd that I GAINED weight on raw, and became a squishy thing, but I suppose it's a PART of the BIG picture. I'll have to truly learn to accept myself, learn true hunger signals and accept that I do not have a speedy metabolism and tolerance for high-fat raw foods.
Great post... keep loving yourself.
Great post - I love how real you are. You're looking fabulous too!
I really enjoy your blog. I too am a huge fan of Natalia Rose. I'll be doing my first colonic this Sunday. I'm a little nervous but more excited that my body is on the road to true cleansing. All the best!
the most beautiful post, a beautiful spirit and energy.
Gaining weight is always an adjustment... But no matter what Brit, you're still gorgeous!!
I'm still on LJ [legallyboston] and moving to NY this August so we'll have to meet up sometime you're there! <3
Hi Britanie, I'm thinking about you today and your first time colonic - I really hope you enjoy the experience and know you are in good hands!
Love, Diana
P.S. I started a blog! Please come visit: http://eat2evolve.blogspot.com/
what a nice post. it really feels good to give yourself and your body the love it deserves. i finally, after many years, have reached a point where i feel comfortable with myself. it can really be quite the struggle. let us know how the first colonic goes, i have always been too scared to try it myself.
keep loving yourself. you are beautiful!!!
I can relate to this post on so many levels. Especially your last line about not letting your health issues stand in the way of everything you want to do and experience.. I'm right there with you sister!
Keep being the wonderful, beautiful person you are, every bump or turn in the road is part of the journey, part of the learning experience of life. Be grateful for it as it is part of what is making you such a fabulous person!
Love and hugs to you
Great Post B...
Just put on those headphones and start WALKING...
The weather is beautiful...put on some good music or a good audiobook and do a good 45-60 min walk before you eat in the morning. This will get you on track, and get your mind in the right place for the day.
I struggled with my weight for a while..and it all comes down to being active.
P.S..you BETTER sue those people who used your picture to sell their diet stuff. You could really cash in. At least notify the press!
What a great story...you really have to take advantage of them using you like that. Dont hold back...I know youre such a sweetie, but you should really go for this.
Best of luck...
Anthony
(rawmodel)
Hey girl! hope you are doing great!
Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth. I feel like I'm in exactly the same spot. I've been thinking about all of those ideas lately; about loving my body mostly but also about getting back into doing more yoga (I'll have to check out some of those DVDS, haven't found one that I like yet) and about getting a colonic. I'm also a little apprehensive but hopefully I will be looking into scheduling one soon. Thanks so much for your blog :)
Thanks for being so "raw" with your post. You are gorgeous inside and out!
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